Underground Exiles

More likely than not, this post is going to get me in trouble with the elders in charge of H20, as well as an ex-girlfriend, and various other groups of people.

I was recently told that if I would just be a little more meek, my sermons would go down easier. A couple of weeks before that, I was given practically the same advice.

I was raised Southern Baptist, with this image of

“gentle Jesus, meek and mild,”

to quote the old hymn by Charles Wesley. Then I grew up and read the New Testament for myself, and it seemed like Jesus really enjoyed screwing with religious people.

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So tonight will be my first night back at the CrossPoint small group here in my area. I’m a bit apprehensive about heading back after the break-up with my girlfriend. She won’t be there, but she’s part of the worship team at my church, so there will be an amount of weirdness, I’m sure.

In all of this, my reliance on Christ has increased exponentially. I’m not certain what His plan is in all of this mess, but I know that there is one, and I’m absolutely looking forward to being on the other side of it, so I can look back and see perfectly how He was shaping me.

I prayed harder last night than I can remember praying in several months, and wouldn’t stop until peace descended. God doesn’t often allow Himself to be caught hold of, at least by me, so I had every intention of bending His ear while He was amiable. I wouldn’t trade that relationship for any other relationship on the planet…

Truly, our God is great…

So I had to stop by my now ex-girlfriends apartment today to pick up some shirts that I still had over there.

So I walked to the door and knocked, so I could return her spare car key and pick up my shirts, and when she opened the door (piano student diligently practicing), she looked incredibly happy…way happier than I can remember her looking for 2 years.

So what is it about me and our relationship that seems to have drug her down for 2 years? As boyfriends go, was I that god-awful? What in the relationship could have been so bad?

Or do I just individually suck so much that leaving me has been the happiest moment in years for her.

I just honestly don’t know…